{"id":85460,"date":"2026-02-11T22:36:58","date_gmt":"2026-02-12T01:36:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tech.einnews.com\/article\/891588884"},"modified":"2026-02-11T22:36:58","modified_gmt":"2026-02-12T01:36:58","slug":"how-tech-companies-rig-parental-guilt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new7.shop\/zerocostfreehost\/index.php\/2026\/02\/11\/how-tech-companies-rig-parental-guilt\/","title":{"rendered":"How Tech Companies Rig Parental Guilt"},"content":{"rendered":"
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This article was coauthored by Daniel Frost, a professor at Brigham Young University, and Jane Shawcroft, a professor at The Ohio State University. <\/em><\/p>\n

Talita Pruett, a California mom of three children ages 14, 13, and 5, is doing everything she can to be a present, involved parent. But one issue weighs on her more than anything else: guilt<\/a> over media use.<\/em><\/p>\n

She has tried it all: screen-time limits, content filters, charging phones in her bedroom at night, and regular conversations about healthy media habits. Still, she says, guilt lingers, both about her children\u2019s media use and her own.<\/p>\n

At first, the family had a strict rule: no phones until age 16. But when Talita\u2019s oldest started high school, the rule proved impossible to maintain\u2014all of her daughter\u2019s peers had smartphones, so she reluctantly agreed to let her have one as well. Within weeks, she noticed her daughter\u2019s grades slipping and wondered if she had made a mistake.<\/p>\n

With her middle child, Talita questions whether she has been too strict about screentime rules, even though he already shows some warning signs of media struggles. And then there\u2019s her youngest. Talita says she feels the most guilt about her five-year-old, who uses far more media than her older children did at the same age.<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes I feel like a complete failure as a parent when I try to help them manage their screen use. It truly feels impossible,\u201d Talita said. \u201cI feel guilty that I might be doing too much. … And then I feel guilty that I\u2019m not doing enough. We have limits in place and are doing our best, but I still feel so guilty all the time,\u201d she confessed.<\/p>\n

Talita is not alone: worry and guilt over children\u2019s media use have become an everyday part of being a parent. New data from the United States, collected by one of us (Coyne) in a paper currently under review, shows that about half of parents feel guilty about the amount of time their children spend on media. About half also agree with the statement, \u201cI often worry I am not as good at parenting<\/a> my child around media as I should.\u201d<\/p>\n

Widespread parental guilt is an underappreciated cost of the new technological landscape\u2014another societal harm to lay at the feet of tech giants. These tech companies do not act in good faith to help parents, and they actively impede parents from raising their children in the ways they believe are best for their kids\u2019 development.<\/p>\n

Guilt by Design<\/h2>\n

Tech companies\u2019 design choices give them an unfair advantage over parents like Talita, who are trying to do what\u2019s best for their children when it comes to media use. This ultimately sets parents up for an endless cycle of guilt. Features like infinite scroll, autoplay, incessant notifications, FOMO, peer validation, and cheap dopamine<\/a> hits are just a few of the ways tech companies keep kids engaged. These intentional design choices keep kids online much longer<\/a> than is healthy\u2014and far longer than many parents would prefer.<\/p>\n

And tech companies make a lot of money doing this. A study from Harvard<\/a> found that social media<\/a> companies made $11 billion from advertising<\/a> aimed at children in 2022. Advertisers are willing to cough up this 11-figure sum because social media platforms extract huge amounts of time and attention from kids.<\/p>\n

With so much effort and money directed at hacking children\u2019s attention, it is no wonder most parents experience a wide spectrum of guilt related to their children\u2019s media consumption. Our own data showed that many parents feel guilty about being inconsistent in their parenting or disciplining around media (55 percent); the amount of time their children spend on media (46 percent); and putting their own needs regarding media above their children’s (67 percent). A majority (57 percent) worry that they should spend more time with their child instead of on their phone.<\/p>\n

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Media Essential Reads<\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

Out of Control<\/h2>\n

The difficulties parents face with setting media and screentime boundaries<\/a> were highlighted earlier this year in a study<\/a> by the Family Online Safety Institute, which found that only around half of parents use parental control on tablets, with even fewer using parental controls on other devices. Another study<\/a> asked parents what they thought about parental controls for gaming. Parents said that such controls \u201cdon\u2019t always work as promised, offer little context about how settings affect gameplay, and force binary choices that don\u2019t align with household rules or with children\u2019s maturity levels.\u201d<\/p>\n

In short, the parental controls that do exist place a heavy burden on parents. They must learn about different controls across multiple platforms, figure out how to implement them, and monitor the controls to ensure they remain effective, while trying to balance children\u2019s growing autonomy and need for privacy as they enter the teenage years. This would be difficult even if the tech companies wanted wholeheartedly to help parents place reasonable limits on their children\u2019s media consumption, which they do not. Rather than building a dangerous digital highway and then expecting each overworked parent to construct their own guardrails, tech companies could instead be required to build safety features into the products so the digital environment is not so dangerous and addictive in the first place.<\/p>\n

You might assume parental guilt is a generational issue, with older parents wringing their hands about new technologies that they struggle to understand. But our research found the exact opposite. Guilt increased as mothers\u2019 age decreased (an effect size of -0.10), meaning that younger mothers experienced more guilt, perhaps because they are the first generation to experience it firsthand. They know all too well the ways that new media can affect your self-esteem<\/a>, concentration<\/a>, social relationships, and time management<\/a>, and they want to protect their children from these effects. A recent Harris poll found<\/a> that clear majorities of parents wish that many social media platforms, including TikTok, X, Instagram, and Facebook, were never invented.<\/p>\n

What Can Parents Do With Their Guilt?<\/h2>\n

The first thing to keep in mind is that you are not alone. More than half of the other parents in your neighborhood feel like you do. Guilt is often a sign that something is off, but the fact that so many parents feel guilt over media use means that this isn\u2019t an individual problem for individual families; it\u2019s a problem for our society and our communities. This shared emotion<\/a> points to the need to come together to advocate for changes in the way technology operates. For your home, organizations like Children and Screens and Common Sense Media offer evidence-based guidance on helping children build healthy relationships with technology.<\/p>\n

And finally, give yourself a little grace. Feeling guilty doesn\u2019t necessarily mean you are a failure. In fact, guilt about media use probably means that you pay attention to your child\u2019s media use and know it can be better. This makes you better prepared to support healthy media habits while also recognizing that sometimes the guilt parents feel is really just a manifestation of how technology companies have taken advantage of children\u2019s developing brains rather than supporting them.<\/p>\n

Parents absorb the burden of guilt while tech companies reap the profits. Parents should demand products and media content that are designed to help and support children, not siphon as much time and attention as possible.<\/p>\n

This article is also published on <\/em>After Babel<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

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