{"id":77367,"date":"2026-02-05T12:18:22","date_gmt":"2026-02-05T15:18:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tech.einnews.com\/article\/889650669"},"modified":"2026-02-05T12:18:22","modified_gmt":"2026-02-05T15:18:22","slug":"my-boyfriend-is-no-stranger-to-tech-layoffs-but-this-time-something-is-making-it-very-different","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new7.shop\/zerocostfreehost\/index.php\/2026\/02\/05\/my-boyfriend-is-no-stranger-to-tech-layoffs-but-this-time-something-is-making-it-very-different\/","title":{"rendered":"My Boyfriend Is No Stranger to Tech Layoffs. But This Time, Something Is Making It Very Different."},"content":{"rendered":"

Good Job<\/em><\/a> is Slate\u2019s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? <\/em>Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here<\/strong><\/a>. (It\u2019s anonymous!)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/strong><\/p>\n

My amazing boyfriend of seven years has a degree in computer science and has now been unemployed for 18 months. He worked for small tech companies for 12 years, since right out of college, and is no stranger to being laid off; this is his fourth time being unceremoniously offloaded. The previous three times, though, he easily found a new position within a couple of months. This time, however, he\u2019s had maybe six or seven interviews in a year and a half, despite speaking to two headhunters and a career counselor, as well as working his networks, going all the way back to college professors and old study buddies for leads. The headhunters and counselor gave it to him straight: His degree is \u201cold,\u201d he worked in a niche area, and his salary tier and age make him unattractive to tech companies in our large, saturated metro area.<\/p>\n

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When he first became unemployed, he threw himself into it. He cooked amazing meals within our food budget, maintained his gym and health routines, did tons of stuff around the house, and read a lot. Now, I can tell he\u2019s depressed. He hasn\u2019t openly said it, but he\u2019s not sleeping well, his gym habits are dropping off, and he\u2019s spending more and more time staring at old TV shows during the day. (He\u2019s gained some weight, too, which, if you knew him, would be a big red flag as he was the chubby kid who fought tooth-and-nail to change his habits.)<\/p>\n

My question is, what is the best way for me to realistically support him at this time? He\u2019s at a bit of a loss on how to proceed, and I\u2019m not sure what to encourage, as I work for a nonprofit and only know what I read about the tech industry. He\u2019s briefly discussed going back to school for something totally different, like health care, as jumping in and re-training for a tech gig at age 37 is looking less and less viable. I\u2019m writing in because my closest friends are my sisters and my mom, and they are ZERO help. They advised me to kick my boyfriend to the curb and get a new guy while I still have \u201cmy body.\u201d (Do women in their 40s not have bodies? So convenient! Fewer products to buy!)<\/p>\n

\u2014Worried for My Unemployed Soulmate<\/p>\n

Dear Worried for My Unemployed Soulmate,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I hope your unemployed soulmate gets some solace from your sense of humor! Seriously, having a compassionate partner or friend you can laugh with is one of the only things keeping a lot of people going right now. It\u2019s a terrible time in general, and a terrible time to be looking for work<\/a>. Validating that it sucks, especially for someone who has been in a field that always seemed to have plenty of job openings, is a great way to be supportive.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s doing all the right things by networking with former colleagues and talking to headhunters and a career counselor. Do you know if the career counselor focused only on computer science roles? There are plenty of discussion boards where people share ideas about what you can do with a computer science degree\u2014among other things, basically any job with \u201canalyst\u201d in the title. You might not be able to help much with that part of his search, but you or another career counselor might help him think more broadly about alternative careers.<\/p>\n

He is not too old to learn a new profession, or another one after that. Some things are harder to do as a mature student, like learn a new language. But plenty of things are easier. He knows more about how to prioritize, focus, set goals, and understand his own work process than he did starting out. Many of his computer science and problem-solving skills could be relevant in a different career, like becoming a lawyer specializing in tech. In your nonprofit circles, are there positions that require technical skills but have different job titles or responsibilities?<\/p>\n

This is a good time to talk through some of his beliefs about career and identity. You made some funny-ouch observations about the gendered expectations your family sets on you. Even if his family of origin was less fixated on traditional gender roles, he grew up in a society that expects men to be muscular or mathematical. You mentioned health care, and that\u2019s a great idea. Are there traditionally female-dominated professions he didn\u2019t consider when he was younger? Would he enjoy being a nurse, therapist, or teacher? If he\u2019s worried about earning a big salary, talk about that explicitly. Tell him (if it\u2019s true) that you aren\u2019t with him for his income, because that\u2019s another gendered expectation that can get in the way of healthy relationships.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to think ambitiously or creatively when you\u2019re depressed. Is he getting treatment yet? If not, that should be his priority. It might complement his depression management if you can encourage him to think about his next career step not as a sign of failure, but as an opportunity to rethink how he wants to spend his working hours.<\/p>\n

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Get work advice\u2014submit a question!<\/h3>\n

Please keep questions short (150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication. <\/p>\n